
The scam: Apple’s $1 trillion fraud
It's all bad when Apple does it.

Equivolating: Making Apple out to be bad on privacy
You have to try really hard.

Moving the goal posts: Amazon is always ahead
Did we say one trillion? We meant two trillion.

Picking the wrong horse: It’s Apple’s fault
It should have been Amazon.

Thrilling trillions: Apple might actually be successful
Apple his a trillion dollar valuation despite those who bet on Amazon.

Cool runnings: Apple schools while being uncool
Somehow the company manages to survive, despite all the dire warnings.

Market sharing: The Apple Watch by the numbers
The Apple Watch's market share may be down, but the Macalope thinks it'll probably be OK.

Pattern-making: Any three Apple problems
Doesn't matter how far back you have to go, you have to connect the dots.

Trouble ahead: The perpetual state of Apple
Always just a few months from trouble.

On repeat: The same complaints about unshipped iPhones
Every new rumor is a chance to complain about something.

Fair’s unfair: Apple the monopolist
If Google gets fined then Apple should, too, because reasons.

This one weird pricing trick: Why an iPhone might cost less
Get ready to learn a shocking new fact about pricing! The Macalope says you will truly be astounded.

Stupid writing tricks: Trying hard to fail with an iPad
How can it be used for work when it fails when I try really hard to make it fail?!

Unicorn updates: Apple fails to fix it all
The MacBook Pros are better but quantum-mechanically speaking we're still in the same universe.

Industry-leading failure: iPhones don’t have every feature
You can always fault Apple for not putting some feature on the iPhone.