When you have a small point to make—that Apple has trended toward slightly muter tones in its products and offloaded the more extreme color optioning to cases and bands to allow customers more options for accessorizing—the best way to make it is to loudly declare Apple has killed “fun.” That’s just basic punditry, people.
“Apple killed fun.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Shawn King.)
Just to watch it die. May or may not have happened in Reno. Still waiting for the forensics. The body of fun was found in the desert, 40 miles east.
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Apple famously said there are a thousand noes for every yes. Let’s look at one of those noes which is helpfully brought to us today by Vivo.
To be clear, they’re not a sponsor. We’re just going to look at one of their dumb phones.
Writing for the very nice people and the sound of an out-of-tune piano coming from the attic of an abandoned Victorian house over at Business Insider, Antonio Villas-Boas tells us about the new Android hotness.
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As we approach the end of the second quarter of 2018, it’s nice to look back at all that nonsense about iPhone order cuts from the first quarter and be glad that’s all in the rear-view mirror.
Yes, looks like it’s time for The Macalope to lean back and take a looong drink of water as he opens up his browser to read the headlines of the day…
“Apple, Suppliers Drop After Report of Cut in iPhone Orders.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Philip and Alex.)
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What would Apple do without a host of pundits coming out in the days after its announcements to let the company know what it did wrong? The Macalope suspects the company would like to one day find out, but today is not that day.
Writing for the Forbes contributor network and summer school for beginner and intermediate air guitar, Ewan Spence declares that “No New iPhone At WWDC Is Apple's Big Mistake.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Alex, Dan and Philip.)
So, not doing something it hasn’t done in eight years is a “big mistake.” Because the company’s struggled so much over those eight years.
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Apple held a keynote this week and it failed to cure society of all its woes which, by the way, were all created by Apple.
Writing for Wired, Arielle Pardes describes “Tech addiction and the paradox of Apple’s screen time tools.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Nathan.)
To drive home the point of how tech addiction is a very real thing and not mostly a bunch of pseudo-science babble attempting to rebrand certain poor life choices, Wired includes a picture of a typical dumb-dumb enraptured by his stoopid iPhone and provides this caption:
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Apple has been bested yet again! It’s a wonder they even bother to try anymore.
Writing for Mashable, Stan Schroeder tells us that “A bunch of cool new phones are coming out of China soon.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Nick.)
That’s kind of dull compared to the page title: “Sorry, Apple and Samsung. Smartphone innovation is happening in China.” One gets the feeling he is sorry… yet also not sorry. It’s Schrödinger’s Apology.
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If you’ve been around as long as The Macalope has… uh, well, sorry about your chronic aches and pains and the series of trusses and garters you must employ in order to simply wear clothes. Or is that just The Macalope? Anyway, more to the point, you might remember that back in the day when kids were still saying “back in the day,” the conventional wisdom went something like this:
Actually, it wasn’t something like that, it was exactly like that, as Henry Blodget epitomized back in 2011.
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