Apple’s faced a modest decline in its profit margin over a period of a few years. Must be time to overreact.
Writing for Bloomberg, Shira Ovide says “Honey, I Shrunk Apple’s Profit Margins.” (Tip o’ the antlers to a reader in Dallas.)
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The Macalope is happy to stipulate that there are some people for whom an iPad is not going to be a great work device. That doesn’t mean, however, that the iPad is not a great work device for many.
Writing for Macworld (hey, that’s this publication!), Michael Simon says “The iPad Pro needs more than smaller bezels to take on the Galaxy Tab S4 and Surface Go.”
It will have small bezels, according to images found in iOS 12.
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Turns out Apple isn’t a successful company after all! Surprise! Yep, it’s just a giant scam. Well, at least we know now. Before it got out of hand. Anyway, this will be The Macalope’s last column since the whole house of cards is tumbling down around us.
Writing for The New Republic, Alex Shepard tells us of“Apple’s Stock Market Scam.” (Tip o’ the antlers to "a raider n Dallas".)
Turns out it’s stock buybacks which are the only reason Apple made it to a $1 trillion valuation. And you thought it was the iPhone X. Ha-ha! Oh, Wallace. Will you ever learn? And will you ever stop wearing those ridiculous suspenders?! Ha-ha! You look like some sort of disco-dancing farmer.
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You know that thing that you know? What if it wasn’t true?!
It is true, but what if it wasn’t?!
It is, though. But, still… whooooooooo.
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Apple made it to a $1 trillion valuation last week, beating out Amazon and making a whole bunch of people really mad about it.
Writing for USA Today, Jefferson Graham says “Apple can thank iPhone a trillion times, but it has Amazon to worry about.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Peter.)
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There are two ways to write a piece admitting you were massively wrong about which company would hit a milestone first. One is to admit you were wrong and gracefully congratulate the company that succeeded.
Then there’s this way.
Writing for Gartner, Scott Galloway sarcastically says “Yay Capitalism.”
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Apple hit a milestone this week, becoming the first company to top a trillion dollars in market capitalization. How about that?
Just for fun, let’s look back at what was the conventional wisdom was, in many of these cases, just a few weeks ago.
“Amazon Will Be the First Trillion-Dollar Company, Not Apple.”
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